Intro To Skipping World News: July 30, 2015

Hello everyone and welcome to Skipping World News!
Our morning news will usually be posted once a week on Saturday.
If you have come here for reading news and facts, you should look somewhere else. If you want to have your ideas added to a community of fantasy writers contributing to a world where anything you can imagine happens, comment on this page as soon as possible!
Rules:
1. These stories must have the day of the week (doesn't need to be a real day), time, and place in the world.
2. Please nothing to inappropriate, so this blog can stay up and get new readers and writers.
3. Please comment with your real name or a code name so I can make you the byline when and if I post your news.
4. HAVE FUN!

Just to get things off to a start (as I will be adding my news, also...):
Millday, July 30, 4096:

Yesterday, Agent Birdfly was sitting in her house, quietly screaming. She saw someone in black running through the fields of Broccoli in front of her house. She ran downstairs and grabbed the person. When interviewed, Agent Birdfly had this to say: "I though this would be a robbery or a murder, on the size of the bag, but it turned out to be a little girl playing with another little girl in a bag. Although, the girl was dead. The bag dragger, Elsie Retro says that it wasn't her fault. But when we looked into the Retro family, we saw records of crime."
Who knows if this little girl committed the crime?
A.J. Haws

Thanks for reading and please add a comment soon,
Bendy Eel